Over the years there have been a good sum of posts that have dealt with the issue of marriage equality, human rights and, even, love in general. Usually, these posts have been regarding issues which have been away from home. Typically, they have been concerning "Top Stories" in the US or UK but seldom have they been on our own doorstep, or rather, inside our own homes. On Friday, May 22nd, 2015, the Irish people will take to the polling stations across the country to make two decisions, firstly, do they believe that our President should be allowed to be as young as 21 years old (an issue which I don't really feel that strongly about but do have an opinion) and secondly, whether marriage is something that should be offered to each and all equally, regardless of sexuality, sex or gender (an issue where opinion is unimportant but decision is crucial). Here, we will be looking at the latter.
Indeed, the outcome of May 22nd will perhaps be the most historic and important legislative decision that any member of the Irish electorate will make in their lives. Their "X's" will collectively decide the fate of tens of thousands of same-sex couple across the nation. This is both exciting and melancholy at the same time. It's exciting because my LGBTQ friends may finally have the same rights afforded to me and the rest of "straight Ireland". But it is melancholy because their fate has been put in mine and your hands when it should not be. The very fact that this issue is being decided by voters is truly sad. This is an issue of human rights and an issue of equality, there is no deciding, there is just "Yes".
When I think about my friends and family who are happily married, I occasionally imagine what it would be like for them to be told, when they wished to wed, that they did not have the right. I wonder about my life and what it would be like when I want to get married and what it would be like to be told "No, you can't". To be told that I am not allowed to be happy and am not allowed to legally declare my commitment and devotion for the person I love is something I don't think I could handle. However this is not an issue for me, but my LGBTQ friends live with this reality and have done throughout their whole lives. Not too long ago, I met with some friends of mine, a straight couple who have been engaged for nearly 23 years!!! People have often teased them for not marrying and I often wondered why they chose never to wed. Initially I thought that it might have been because the sheer cost of a wedding is so great that they either didn't want to go through the whole financial headache or that they simply didn't feel a need to have a legal contract that stated their love for eachother; that they simply didn't need a piece of paper to prove their commitment to eachother. After quite a long time of having known then, when we met recently, I asked them why they chose not to get married. They answered "we don't have a choice". Initially I was very confused and they then explained that ever since they first got engaged, it was illegal for LGBTQ people to marry and so they felt that this was something, if not for everyone, was for no one. Fortunately, they are hopeful that this bill will pass and are looking forward to ending their almost QUARTER OF A CENTURY ENGAGEMENT with a wedding. People like them really put it all into perspective. Finding everlasting love is difficult enough as it is, but having to deal with legislation that prohibits you from celebrating that love is simply wrong!
This referendum, as with the likes of "Prop 8" in California a few years ago, makes me wonder about those in this country who hold the opinion that marriage equality shouldn't be granted to everyone. While I understand that people have the right to their opinion, and I do respect these opinions even though I think they are wrong and abhorrent, I question whether those in the "No" camp have actually experienced or considered what it would be like to be in the position of someone in the LGBTQ community. If they had a son or daughter, relative or friend who was unable to marry because of their sexuality; would they feel the same way? Would they actually deny happiness to someone they loved? The whole debate really peers into the minds of people and society at large because it is asking a question that, really, we should not have to ask or have the right to decide, that is "Who should be allowed to love?". Indeed there are those who believe homosexuality is wrong and those who, beit for religious or other convictions, have been indoctrinated with an unrelenting dislike for anything straying from the "straight line", but is this not an issue which transcends that?
Let us not forget now folks, there are indeed two sides to this debate. There is the "Yes" camp and the "No" camp. For the most part, the "Yes" camp have been extremely visible in their efforts to promote marriage equality and have been endorsed by numerous interest groups, celebrities and civil society groups. But don't be fooled. Just because there seems to be a landslide number of "Yes" voters and campaigners that does not mean that we can sit idle and expect the rest of the country to make the right decision. This is arguably the greatest single referendum any of us will ever participate in over the course of our lives. For your child's sake, for your brother's sake, for your sister's sake, for your best friend's sake and for the sake of the generations to come, get off your arses, go to the polling stations and grant our LGBTQ friends and family their basic human right to happiness!
