Chritsine Buckley: One of our true heroines!

It's been a while, you get it, I've been busy. Sorry. Or, as a very close friend of mine would say, "Sozzles". But, you got it! This is how we do!

I haven't felt a need to write because, despite the Water Charges debacle that is going on in Ireland, there were bigger fish to fry. I personally have no major issue with the water charges. They are a pain in the ass, I will pay them but I do have an issue with the whole PPS/IRS number that seems to need to go to a third party...that is not cool...anyway...

Since we last spoke, it's been a very interesting year, lots of music, lots of mirth and lots of loving times with people I adore. The reason I am writing is because of one lady...Christine Buckley.

As many of you probably remember, Christine passed away in March of 2014, she was a survivor of terrible institutional, not to mention other, abuses. She was an advocate for the rights of all who were abused, a patroná for abuse victims of all kinds and generally a good person.

I was fortunate enough to meet her back in 2009 when I was a Master's student in UL after she gave a very moving talk about her life and we had a wonderful time. We were both adopted and we had, what I thought was, common ground. We spoke for about a half an hour and I was so wrong. She spoke of the horrors she had endured and I could not relate. She mentioned physical, verbal, emotional and sexual abuses that actually made me cry as I was listening to her. All I could think of were delightful Christmases, quickly resolved family tit for tats, and sibling nothingeries that didn't matter a damn compared to her story. Having been a closeted angst-ful teenager, I quickly realized how lucky I had it. That conversation with Christine Buckley, I will never forget.

This is a woman who was dealt a shitty hand. I will not present my views on her birth parents because I understand how difficult it must be to 'give' one's child away. In fact, I lie, I can't understand that. It must be terrifying. But I understand that it is a major crossroads in one's own sense of morality and in one's sanity. It is still, I can only imagine, terrifying.

Christine Buckley was a woman who I became aware of back in the 1990's when she was on the Late Late Show and alerting us to the abuses of institutional care. I work in social care and am shocked by the revelations that keep emerging. They are, sadly, a reality that we need to pro-actively deal with because they will not end until we act.

As for Christine Buckley, and the reason I am rambling on right now, she was a woman who reminded me of how great I've had it. For all the times I might curse these sacred people, they are always there and they never left...even when they were really tested. I advocate adoption purely based on my experience. Christine was one of the MANY who got screwed! That does not make the idea flawed! Me and my siblings are the kinder of an adoptive family. A progressive family who have never hidden who we are or where we come from, nor have our parents ever reminded us that we came from "others". If my folks were willing to write a guide on "How To Adopt A Kid & F**king Win At It"...it would actually be a bestseller (I'm working on it).

There is a crippling stigma surrounding adoption, fostering and general child care that worries me. Knowing how this system works, I am conflicted by the public opinion but know that we have a great network and I wish it could be appreciated. As I said, I was very lucky, Christine was not. The disclosure of the past is not an indictment of the current system, nor should it be. Working in the field, I know that the system is incredibly proactive but is indeed flawed still.

Christine Buckley will forever be a heroine of mine because I know what it is like to be confused and what it is like to not know. Luckily, for me, I was blessed with two people who answered any and all questions I may have had and have supported me any time I have teased with the chance of knowing more. My two beautiful sisters have that same right and privilege. I wish, with all of my heart, that Christine had the same opportunities I had and know that she didn't. But she still was a selfless advocate for those who might have hope and those who may have lost it. She was a truly wonderful woman and I hope you all "Google" her and "YouTube" her because she was a woman who had a lot to say and could and can teach us all so much about simple things like kindness, humanity and love.

As I said on Facebook, I will think of her tonight, perhaps a few times, but it will be happily. She was a person who opened my world and proved to me that life can be fucking amazing, if you let it!

Happy New Year to each and every one of you! I'll have more to rant and rave about sooner than you think!

- SHC

Have a watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yv6DUajEkEY