In some previous posts, SHC has covered the topic of bullying in some depth giving both examples of some of the most incredible cases of bullying and its consequences as well as giving opinion on various elements. Back in December 2008, we featured an article about homophobia and the Prop. 8 in California. Now it seems that both bullying and homophobia are back in the media and for all the wrong reasons. In the past few weeks, stories about 5 teen suicides emerged in the media. Each of the teenagers was either outed as gay or perceived as gay by their 'peers' and as a result of immense taunting and bullying, took their own lives.
According to Fred Karger's article on the HuffPost:
Billy Lucas, 15 years old, died September 9, 2010.
Billy had been harassed at his Indiana school for many years. The day before his suicide, there was an alleged incident where he was bullied again at lunch, and was told him to go hang himself. He hanged himself in his barn next to his beloved horses the very next day.
Seth Walsh, 13 years old, died September 19, 2010.
After repeated bullying from other students in his Tehachapi, California hometown, Seth hanged himself from a tree in his backyard. After nine days in a coma, he died on Sept 19th. Police said after questioning the students who may have been involved, many broke down in tears, never expecting such an outcome.
Tyler Clementi, 18 years old, died September 22, 2010.
Tyler was a gifted musician and freshman at Rutgers University.
He killed himself after his roommate secretly recorded him with another male student, and then the video was broadcast online. His last words, posted on his Facebook account 10 minutes before his death, were chilling, "Jumping off the gw bridge sorry."
Asher Brown, 13 years old, died September 23, 2010.
Asher shot himself to death after excessive anti-gay bullying apparently isolated him from classmates in his Houston school. Frustrated by the continued harassment and lack of support at school, he took his life the following day.
Raymond Chase, 19 years old, died September 29, 2010.
Raymond was an openly gay sophomore at Johnson & Wales University in Providence, Rhode Island. He hanged himself in his dorm room after repeated bullying.
A few things to remember: these are just 5 reported cases of teen suicide directly caused by or associated with anti-gay bullying, which would indicate that there are probably many more cases which have not been made public; these are just 5 cases from the USA, which means that there are undoubtedly hundreds, if not thousands, of similar cases from across the world that we know nothing about.
A number of things bother me about these tragedies, firstly, it seems that we are most definately living in a reactionist world rather than a proactive world. We wait for something bad to happen before we seek to 'right an emerging wrong' instead of jumping on the issue before fatal incidents occur. Secondly, these are all teenagers who now will never enjoy the fruits of life and their last memories of life will have been of torturous hatred and cruelty from the people around them. Most of the news media outlets that have covered these cases have been looking to point their finger at someone or a group of people responsible for these deaths. They should perhaps point the finger at themselves. Every now and then when gay issues are in the media, beit over same sex marriage or debates over the perceived over sexuality of 'Pride Week' all over the world, when tragedies like these teen suicides occur, they are quick to blame the bullies in the schools themselves. However, it is the media, and the parents who watch and buy into these media discourses that have the greatest influence upon their children. If we as adults cannot tell the difference between right and wrong, how can we expect our kids to?
Last week, US President, Barack Obama and Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton issued a series of "It Gets Better" videos directed at LGBT teens and bullied children in general. The underlining message was to persevere and life gets easier. But does it? We still live in a world where adults are ostricised for being gay, and not merely in countries where it is frowned upon or criminalised by governments, but here in our own towns and cities. How can we look our own children in the face and tell them to look forward to growing up and be proud of who they are when we bully and ridicule those who are different to us?
The bottom line is that we need to nip the problems our children, and ourselves, face in the bud before it spirals into disaster. This is a lesson we translate into our personal finances when we budget, into our social life when we try and balance work and play and in our relationships when we try and establish boundaries and tear down walls. In the context of the bullying of gay children or teenagers struggling with their sexual identity, we as adults have a responsibility to guide our youths into not only feeling free to express themselves but to accept the expressions of others too. To have a 'do as I say not as I do' attitude towards this particularly delicate issue will only lead to more tragedy and suffering.
FYI: If you want to know about LGBY support in your area, click here: LGBT.ie
Best,
SHC
